Lacrimosa
by Nayru Elric
Summary: Their lives have been entwined by fate ever since they were young, but is it now only a romantic dream in the distant past? For it is life's nature to be cruel that devours all in the end... Based on Assassin's Creed II. MikaYuu.


**Summary:** Their lives have been entwined by fate ever since they were young, but is it now only a romantic dream in the distant past? For it is life's nature to be cruel that devours all in the end…

* * *

 **Lacrimosa** (Latin)  
Definition: **requiem (a death song for mourning);** alternate definition: **weeping.**

* * *

 _Lacrimosa dies illa_ (Mournfully be that day)  
 _Qua resurget ex favilla_ (On which from ashes shall arise)  
 _Judicandus homo reus._ (The guilty man to be judged.)  
 _Huic ergo parce, Deus:_ (O God, have mercy on him:)  
 _Pie Jesu Domine,_ (Gentle Lord Jesus,)  
 _Dona eis requiem. Amen._ (Grant them eternal rest. Amen.)

— **Dies Irae (Day of Wrath)**

* * *

Laughter echoes in his skull, making his teeth chatter, his senses sharpening to something nonhuman. Pale blue eyes glower down at the procession, at the tiles of gold, black, beige, white, and crème. On the altar is a table draped with bright cardinal cloth, waxy gold candlesticks placed all about. Golden scepters glimmer in the hands of those twirling onstage, adorned in ornamental religious robes.

A mournful sound resonates throughout the church hall – creating echoes he knows are long gone.

What those hawklike eyes see beneath the shadow of his white hood is a church hall, hushed, dim, the spectators in awe. Perched behind a mural embroidered with the Roman Catholic insignia, – crossing gold and silver keys haloed by golden light, – the partakers below cannot see the man hidden in the rafters, white robes trailing down around him. They cannot sense the true dark intentions behind his eavesdropping on their ritual.

The main singer is a young girl with auburn hair and magenta eyes that reflect the candlelights round her. She really does have a lovely voice, cold and clear. But it is the girl beside her that he stalks.

Arms slung on both knees, he balances on the narrow wooden rafter. So entranced by the main girl's soprano voice, – the other singers' voices rising and falling in volume, in gentleness and chastity, – their mournful tones only remind him of the past he has lost, of what he has become. He has only to wait for his chance to move in, for he will act as the Angel of Death upon this sacred gathering.

None of the audience can see the quiet hooded assassin who waits patiently in the shadows. Despite being boxed in by the church's marvelous chalky white walls and thousands of eyes, he can very well see all them.

Readjusting to the dim light of the main hall, Mikaela shakes light locks of hair from his eyes, squinting down at the awestruck, pious followers. Shrouded by darkness and maleficence, the assassin is ready to move in, but stills at the sight of the one who now walks down the aisle. His jaw goes slack, his eyes wide.

Now seated in the front pew is the only person Mikaela Shindo, the assassin, has ever trusted. His green eyes are still as bright as their day of separation, his raven hair as unruly as when they used to bicker in the courtyard as children.

 _Yuichiro Amane._

* * *

 **~ Retrace I ~**

* * *

Mika kicked the pebbles on the dirt road as he stalked away from sandstone walls, trees and yellow grass cropping up all around him, fists clenched at his sides. Assassins weren't supposed to be touched by emotions such as arrogance or pride. So he ran away to cool his head. The last thing he needed was one of the Creed members finding him in this state and reporting it to the Master.

The Creed was founded for the benefit of the People, but Mika couldn't bring himself to accept the other assassins so equally. He was obviously the most talented out of anyone there. Why should he be forced to train with his untalented fellow underclassmen? The thought only irritated him. He was tired of being held back. _Why can't we let emotions like pride and anger help us in our missions?!_ Mika wondered. His arms shook. _More power is gained from emotions in one moment than any amount of training in the practice ring. A power this strong shouldn't be forbidden!_

Having not been paying close attention to his surroundings, Mika found himself facing a tall wall of shaved sandstone. It must have been three times his height. At the top he saw the swaying trees, and smelled the sweet scent of flowers.

Mika looked around. No one else was on the road, or in the farming tills alongside it. A small wind blew through the yellow grasses. Still annoyed, Mika decided he didn't care if he caused a little uproar, even if the Creed's second rule was to always be discrete. Mika stepped back, then ran up the wall. Despite being only 12 years old, he scaled it without much effort. His hands hooked onto the ledge on top and swiftly pulled him up, crouching low. Here, he was given a full view of the gardens beyond: flowers of many beautiful colors, leafy foliage, and fountains of exotic Roman statues beckoned to him. The manor itself menacing and gaudy far in the background, with a stone patio overlooking the gardens. Again, the area was so large, and there was no one around. For good measure, Mika concentrated hard on the space around him, searching for any hidden presences he may have missed. He saw the world in a shadowy light that distinguished friend from foe with the color they glowed – red for enemies, blue for allies. But nothing glowed. Only the shadowy, blue-black world of the garden plants swirled below him.

Mika blinked until his vision had returned to normal. It was still something he was getting used to. Then he hopped over the other side of the wall, and head cradled in his arms, laid down among the flowers and foliage. He closed his eyes.

He'd killed plenty of people since he'd started his training, ever since he could hold a knife, yet the older Creed members refused to send him out on an actual mission. They said the real world wasn't as forgiving as they were in training; they brought back targets to be assassinated at the Creed Headquarters sometimes as practice kills for the younger members. If Mika made a mistake on an actual mission, it could cost him his life or the lives of his comrades. But Mika understood the risks and believed he was capable and ready. His superiors knew it too. He was top of his class and could perform techniques of assassination in his sleep. _What are they so worried about?_ Mika thought, blistering more by the second. _Telling me to control my emotions in battle... Maybe they're afraid of my power, of how strong I'll become if they let me go on missions._ His brow tightened, recalling the patronizing stares of the Master and upperclassmen. _Whatever the reason, it isn't fair!_

"Who are you?"

Mika's eyes shot open and he jolted in an upright position among the colorful flowers. He must have fallen asleep. Regardless, he should have sensed the presence of someone beside him. Assassins were trained to be vigilant even while they slept, so how had this kid been able to sneak up on him? Disgruntled, Mika gave him a quick once-over. Emerald eyes fixed upon Mika, the kid's raven-haired head cocked in curiosity. He didn't seem dangerous. Maybe that was why Mika hadn't noticed him. He looked about the same age as Mika, otherwise the mental gap between them was obvious: this kid was smaller in build and wore gold-brown clothing, expensive red lapels flaring around his neck, his hair pleasantly moussed and pants clean. His face was innocent and curious, in contrast to Mikaela's hardened expression. This was the child of a rich family.

The raven-haired kid's eyebrows furrowed slightly, wondering why Mika seemed so offset. Mika was sure he must have looked conspicuous, given the white assassin's garb stocked with pouches of throwing knives, a leather sheath for one larger blade on his back, and thick leather gloves. Mika hadn't brought a white cloak with him since they were only for training missions. He had only just run away from training at Creed Headquarters on Trastevere Island, deep in Rome's Centro District – the only place the guards rarely visited so they could stay anonymous. Having been told he wouldn't be a part of the next big mission, he had run away in furious rage.

Mika knew him and this rich kid were worlds apart. "How did you know I was here?" he asked, standing up.

The kid stood too, shrugging a little. "I dunno, something seemed different about the gardens today."

"And you could sense that?" Mika questioned with incredulity. Though he posed tranquility, Mikaela diligently scanned the walls all around them for the best plan of escape whenever this kid got scared and yelled for the guards to come seize him.

"Yeah, I come back here a lot, so of course I'd be able to tell when something was different. Hey, what're you looking for?"

Mika was so taken off-guard by the perceptiveness of the kid's question that the truth spilled out of his mouth before he could stop it. "A chance to escape when you won't notice and alert the guards." At first Mika panicked a little, having his intentions known to the kid, but soon regained his earlier calm. He didn't expect this spoiled kid to understand what he was saying, or to keep his mouth shut for much longer anyway.

Instead of confusion or fear, the curiosity on the kid's face was suddenly replaced by anger. "Won't notice? Of course I would notice! I'm not an idiot!"

"Oh please," said Mika, looking him dead in the eyes, hands on his hips. "You're just the spoiled child of a rich family. You couldn't possibly understand the way I live."

The kid's face turned redder and his arms straightened beside him as his hands curled into fists. "I am not stupid! And I'm not afraid of you!"

"Well you should be," said Mika, his chest tightening. "You couldn't know of the kind of things I've done."

"Oh yeah?" The kid's shoulders became elevated, his breath coarse, taking it as a challenge. "Like what?"

Mika sighed, turning away from those defiant emerald eyes for a moment as his arms fell back to his sides. He said in a level, stony tone, "I've had human blood on my hands before."

The kid remained unfazed. His determined expression didn't waver in the slightest. "Yeah, so?"

Mika wondered if perhaps the message hadn't yet sunk in. "I've killed people. Many people."

Still, the kid seemed to be waiting for Mika to make a point. "How many?"

Mika was so baffled by the lack of surprise in the kid's voice that he squawked shrilly, "What do you mean 'How many?'! Does it matter?! What could you have done that's worse than that?! You can't possibly think you've had it harder than me!"

Much to Mika's surprise, the kid doubled back and giggled rather than got angrier, a hand over his mouth.

"Wh-what are you laughing at?!" Mika demanded. Now much to Mika's own surprise, he was becoming angry.

The kid giggled in broken up strings of sentences, "It's just so...! I can't believe... you'd say that!"

"Can't believe I'd say what?" Mika was sure the kid thought he had been joking about killing people, until their eyes locked. For the fifth time that day, Mika was surprised by the sheer curiosity, devoid of deception, of those emerald irises. "Well, you say and act like you're better than me just because you've killed someone! Isn't killing someone supposed to be a bad thing?"

"Well... yeah," Mika agreed.

"So would that make you worse than me? You keep acting like it makes you better in some way, just because you've 'been through more' or whatever," he laughed.

Mika's face was turning red now, with a different kind of frustration than he had ever experienced before. He didn't ever get this flustered about anything, not even when the instructors told him to tone down his strength for the sake of the other young assassins during training, nor when they refused to teach him new techniques – so that he had to go to the library and research it himself. He absolutely _would not_ let some kid he'd only met a few moments ago show him up in a battle of wits! "But me being through more than you means –!"

"Ahh it doesn't matter," the kid interrupted, swishing his hands to the side. His tone drained all the fight from Mika, whose arms fell back to his sides. "Who's been through more, who's had more experience – we're both people. It doesn't make you better than me."

"What...?" The assassins always spoke of themselves as being separate from everyone else in society: a group that could take on evil monarchs, but were unable to fraternize with the common people for fear of being manipulated by the ties they might develop with them. Mika had always assumed it was because the assassins were better than normal people, but this kid...

"Hey, what do I call you?" he asked Mika suddenly, voice warm and amiable.

Astounded by the unending curiosity in the kid's eyes and caught off-guard once more, given this new food for thought, Mika answered before he realized what he was doing. "U-uh, Mikaela. Or just Mika," he added quickly. For whatever reason, his face had gotten hotter, and this time not from anger or frustration. This was an entirely new emotion. He didn't remember his instructors at the Creed telling them about this one. It was light and airy, weightlessness and arresting. Maybe he would ask... "Wh-what about you?" Mika asked, hoping to distract the kid – and himself – from the feeling inside him.

The kid grinned, showing white teeth. "Yuichiro Amane."

"Yuu...?"

"Yuichiro," said the kid again, pronouncing slowly.

Mika stammered, "Yuu... Yuichi... I'll just call you 'Yuu,'" said Mika, deflated. It wasn't a name he'd heard anywhere in Rome before.

Yuu laughed again, causing Mika to bow his head in embarrassment.

A voice called from the patio of the tall mansion. "Sir Yuichiro, is everything all right?!"

Mika tensed at once, his spine rattling and his limbs preparing to bolt back up the wall and over into the grassy area behind, to make a break back toward the Creed. He was sure that Yuu would tell the mistress there was some stranger here with him and she would call for the guards, seeing Mika with weapons all over him and a face that could only mean trouble. But Yuu did no such thing.

"Everything's fine!" he called, a hand to his mouth, those emerald eyes shifting away from Mikaela.

The mistress let out an audible puff of air. "Oh, well, you should come back now. It's getting late, and luncheon is being served in the parlor."

"Okay! Be right there!" Those eyes turned back toward the small, blond assassin, who was still in shock over not being ousted from the gardens by Yuu. Yuichiro spoke quietly, "Hey Mika, I've gotta go or else they'll get suspicious." Then there were fingers grasping Mika's, and he was again too shocked to look down and confirm this. Yuu's voice became quieter still, "Talking to you was really fun! Will you... do you think you could... come back sometime?"

Mika blinked at him, at the hopeful tweak of his eyebrows and curve of his lips. "You want me... to come back...?"

"Yeah..." Yuu looked back at the mansion, fidgeting a little as if he was embarrassed to say it. "If it's not too much trouble, I mean. It gets kinda lonely here... I wouldn't mind having a friend?"

Again, that light, weightless feeling was making its way in Mika's chest. _Who cares what the Creed says about emotions being bad...?_ asked a spiteful voice in his head. "I'll see what I can do."

Yuu grinned, his fingers sliding off Mika's. He turned, trotting off, waving back to Mika. "See you later!"

Mika stood still for another moment before he heard the voice of the woman who'd called for Yuu at the door. He immediately sank between the bushes to watch them go inside. The woman, who must have been Yuu's caretaker, looked around the garden before putting an arm on his back and leading him inside. Once Yuu's wild raven hair disappeared behind the stone arch, Mika's heart was pounding hard in his chest. He stood again, and without a second to waste skittered over the sandstone wall and dashed back down the road toward the Centro District, to the Creed.

 _That kid..._ Mika thought. Yuu seemed like a complete dunce right off, but the longer he'd spoken with him... _And somehow, our meeting hadn't turned sour..._ No one liked the assassins, so why had Yuu been completely fine with him...?

And this weightless feeling... Mika didn't understand it himself. He might have to ask the Master about it... could it be dangerous? Mika was eager to find out, but he was also afraid of what the Master might say. If he told his superiors where he'd been all afternoon... they wouldn't like it. They'd probably tell him to conceal it, push the feeling away…

 _"Talking to you was really fun!"_

 _Yeah, it was,_ Mika silently agreed. As he sprinted down the road, he realized he was grinning. When had that ever happened, grinning just because? This feeling was pretty nice…

Maybe he wouldn't ask his superiors about it after all.

* * *

 **~ Retrace II ~**

* * *

Yuu's world consisted of two things: reputation and money. He had heard of the Assassin's Creed from the guests who came to the house of Amane to speak with his honorable parents, or from the hushed voices of the servants who flitted about the mansion. "Murderers!" they called them. "Savages! Ghastly scene; what sort of dastardly things they've done to Pope Hiiragi's fine city of Rome!" Yuichiro only heard of these assassins in passing, never truly understanding what it all meant.

It wasn't until he was out in the market one day that he caught a glimpse. A rush of wind and white fabric passed him, the figure skirting up a wall. Guards shouting and screaming, clamoring after them, swords brandished. And like that, the figure was gone.

Afterward, the guards scoured the district, but not a hair of the assassin was found. Due to the incident, Yuichiro found himself very interested in the Assassin's Creed to say the least. When one, unmistakably, popped up in the gardens behind the manor… Yuu just couldn't let his curiosity take over.

And Mikaela had been interesting to say the least.

Mika hopped over the wall the same place he had before, falling among the foliage and quickly activating his shadowy vision to make sure he wasn't seen. This time it was past dark, nighttime, and a gibbous moon set the flowers of pink, white, and yellow aglow. Mika's alternative vision, however, set everything in a near pitch-black film. He caught glimpses of red. There was a guard – no, two guards, near the patio, and one in the other corner of the gardens, making rounds Mika's way. Two more guards were stationed under the balconies on either side of the mansion, and another on the balcony overlooking the gardens. Mika exhaled steadily. He would have to be careful not to be seen. With his shadowy vision, Mika caught signs of blue glowing from the room connected to the balcony farthest from him.

It had been many months since his first encounter with Yuu... Mika wasn't even sure if Yuu would still remember him. This is probably completely stupid, Mika chided himself. Yuu may have just been inviting me over again to be polite... Nobles often did that, offer room and board and meals to each other more as a courtesy than because they actually wanted to – Mika knew it from all the times he'd spied on nobles during missions with higher rank assassins.

Mika had run away from the Creed this time for not being selected to help take out a member of the family controlling Rome's government. The Hiiragi Family was made of tyrants who controlled a number of smaller families within the city, operating as its own powerhouse of consumer business due to its gross domestic production, close to that of an entire country than just one city. The Hiiragis – and other families – controlled their own sects of the country, and for that Mika had been raring to go help with the assault against one of their most fortified areas of rule. The Master had forbidden it however, and ordered a few of the lesser trainee assassins to assist the older ones. Her word was final in the Creed, so Mika dared not disobey her. Mika also knew he needed to distract himself or else he might do something rash up in front of the other members, – like displaying his frustrating on one of the training dummies, – which would result in further suspension of him being sent on an important mission. The only place Mikaela could think to go was here, to the strange kid he'd met months before. Besides, Yuu hadn't seem to mind his company, nor the fact that he was an assassin. He'd even asked Mika to come back, and it'd been over a year.

Mika knew getting past the guards without being seen would be a breeze, especially since he wasn't even here for an assassination mission. They were all scattered and incompetent, not having been faced with any kind of break-in before, since anyone else with the skill was too afraid to infiltrate a noble's home. Stupid.

Mika hid between bushes and shrubs as the guard came toward him, staying still so not even the leaves rustled except with the wind, his blond hair and white assassin's garb fully hidden – this time he wore his cloak with its hood pulled down, having been prepared to go on the mission against the Hiiragi Family. Plus, if he was caught here and his identity revealed, it would cause tremendous issues for the Creed for its connection to the Amane Family, and for Mika as an assassin. Once the guard passed, using the cover of the foliage, Mika continued to pad through the gardens without the guard on the balcony seeing, neither of those on the patio either, until he reached the other side where there was now a guard on Yuu's balcony, one below near the side of the house. Mika cursed. This was going to be the part that was hard: finding a time both of them would be looking away long enough for him to hook onto the balcony, pull himself up, and go through the open door without being heard or seen.

Wait, there was space on the side of the mansion where he could climb the wall... if there were no guards on the other side of it, then he could climb onto the roof and drop down onto the balcony and enter Yuu's room. When the guard on the ground was looking the other way, Mika rushed up the wall and latched both hands on top. Peering over, he saw only one guard far on the other side of the mansion – they wouldn't see him. Perfect.

The rounded shutters on the roof clinked under Mika's feet, so he had to tread extra carefully to make sure the guard on the balcony didn't turn his head. The guard was all the way on the other side, near the open door to the upstairs den, when Mika found his chance to jump down, catching himself on the doorframe, and swing into Yuu's room.

Yuichiro, sitting on his bed reading, was startled at Mikaela's sudden entrance but recognized him at once, despite the white hood shadowing his face. "Mika!" Yuu exclaimed.

Mika put a finger to his lips, moving away from the open door. Yuu leapt out of bed, book still in his hands, crossed the spacious room, and closed the glass doors to the balcony, drawing the curtains so the guards couldn't see them. "I'm surprised to see you at this time. What's that you're wearing?"

Mika pulled down his hood and shook his hair out, giving it that fluffy illusion that there was more hair there than there was. "I was supposed to go on an assassination mission tonight, but I wasn't chosen. So I thought I would come see you." Mika was memorizing the layout of the room as he told Yuu this, the marble arches framing every doorway, at the polished, chestnut wood of Yuu's four-poster bed, the furnishings with patterns from what looked like one of the Roman churches themselves. Bathroom to the left, dresser to the right, and doorway to the hall dead ahead.

"Do you like my room, or are you looking for the best place to hide in case someone finds us together?" Yuu asked, already startling Mikaela with his awareness of what he was doing.

"Already so understanding of my true intentions, Yuu." Having gathered what he could from the room, Mika then turned his attention onto Yuichiro. It was only their second time seeing each other, but the last time Mika had seen Yuu both of them were 12. It had been so long they were 13 now, almost 14. Already signs of maturity were starting to show in Yuu's face, his cheeks and jaw becoming more defined, emerald gaze a little harsher, – not necessarily in a bad way, – but otherwise holding the same spark, and of course Yuu's unruly raven hair. Yuu noticed the same about Mikaela too, especially how Mika's features had a ghostly, angelic glow, even in the warm candlelight of Yuu's room.

Mika asked, "How's life been in the fast lane?"

Yuu shrugged a little; now he wore grey clothing with silver threaded around the sleeves and collar for nighttime, a size bigger to account for his growth. "Oh y'know, signing meaningless papers, dealing with more and more rich people with their dumb, rich people problems. What about you?"

Mika seated himself on the puffy, splendrous brown and red covers of Yuu's bed and laid back, blond hair and assassin cloak trickling around him, a drop of white on top of the dark sheets. "Killing monarchs, poisoning witnesses, torturing anyone who defies us..." Mika shrugged his shoulders against the bed. "The usual."

Yuu seated himself beside Mika, faint traces of a grin on his lips. "Sounds more exciting than whatever I've been doing."

Mika turned toward Yuu as he propped himself up with both elbows, found that he was grinning. "I thought it was you who said that killing made you a bad person," said Mika, ignoring the bubbly-ness in his chest that threatened to take him over as it had nearly a year ago. He didn't even know why; he'd been able to make the feeling go away a few days after his last meeting with Yuu, caught up in all the missions and training his superiors spurned on him afterward. Though through it all, Mika had never forgotten the emotion he'd experienced when in Yuu's presence and no one else's. Mika hadn't felt it since, and even almost forgotten about it. He'd only come to see Yuu for someone to whine to, essentially, and because he had nowhere else to go. Here with Yuu now, Mikaela recalled perfectly well why he'd been so enamored with this new weightless feeling back then.

"I didn't say killing made you a bad person," Yuu refuted. "I said it made you a worse person."

"Same difference," said Mika, trying to get himself to focus on the present, on why Yuu affected him this greatly already, so short a time they'd been together.

"Anyway, I've heard about all the ruckus you've been causing between the households," Yuu told him.

"Ruckus my comrades have been causing, you mean," Mika sighed, slumping back down on the bed, the question pushed out of his mind. "I'm not allowed to go on missions except under supervision."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

Mika's cerulean eyes drifted from the antique spoon set in the cabinet beside Yuu's door and back over to Yuu. "Why would it be a good thing?"

"Doesn't it mean they're worried about you and don't want you to get hurt?"

Mika paused. "No, it means I'm unfit for the job and they don't trust me to go on a mission alone."

"Doesn't seem like it to me," Yuu murmured. He lifted his hands from his bedsheets and folded them in his lap, staring.

After a few long moments of silence, Mika couldn't stand it anymore. "...What is it?"

"Oh, I was just thinking..." Yuu only glanced at him. "You get to go out and see all kinds of different people and places on your missions. I'm just stuck here, observing the outside through the mansion walls, through the windows of carriages... I wish I could go out and explore the world for myself."

Mika wanted to say something, but no words came. After a few half-hearted attempts at comforting words played in his head, he decided it better not to say anything. What could he say anyway? It was true, Yuu couldn't go outside, unlike Mika. If he did, Yuu would be kidnapped or attacked by a thief or mercenary on the streets, being a rich noble without protection. For Mikaela, being an assassin out on the streets for too long held similar dangers, but at least he had been taught to protect himself, so the fear of being killed wasn't as great. Another thought popped into Mika's mind. A rather bad one, he knew. He couldn't help but say it, wanting to know how Yuu would react. "What if you had someone to protect you?"

Those bright emerald eyes, now perplexed, slowly found Mika's. "What do you mean?"

Mika felt his face warm and that feeling return. His voice caught in his throat. "I could protect you." Mika, be in charge of Yuu's safety?! Yuichiro would reject this idea, surely! The only escort missions Mika had never been on before had always ended in disaster... The person they were protecting never understood the vitality of their situation and always ended up making a wrong decision that resulted in their death, capture, or serious injury. If Mika let the same happen to Yuu, not only would the Amane Family who were currently allies of the assassins shut off their funds for them, but condemn the assassins to Hell and join all the others on the Hiiragis' side. And, Mika at least abided by the first rule of the Creed: never kill an innocent person. Yuichiro Amane was an innocent person. Promising to protect him, knowing full-well that he may not be able to fulfill that promise –

"Would you really?!"

 _Shit,_ Mika cursed. Yuu's posture had improved dramatically, his expression seeming to light up the rest of the shiny furniture and valuable prizes in the room, fists clenched and lifted in front of him. He really wanted to go outside. Mika was sure being trapped in this stuffy – or maybe not so much stuffy, but strict household had to get old. He'd often thought of such before he met Yuu when he spied on nobles, how he pitied their inability to live freely, imprisoned by the very system they now upheld. How could Mika deny Yuu, knowing that? "S-sure, I mean, I don't know when, but –"

Yuichiro snatched Mika around the middle even as he was laying on the bed, squeezed him tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mika!"

"H-HEY!" Mika yelled sharply. His limbs lashed out at Yuichiro at the sudden physical contact immediately, an instinct embedded in him from his assassin training. He was unaccustomed to being touched unless it was during combat.

"S-sorry," Yuu apologized, so instead placed his hands on Mika's shoulders, though Mika still flinched and moved slightly away, until those emerald orbs stared deep into Mika's, calming him. "I knew befriending you was a good idea!"

Mika couldn't help the bright pink color that dusted his cheeks from Yuu's joyous tone. He was going to say something, when there was a knock at Yuu's door. Yuu let go of Mika at once, who lurched up from the bed and into the marble-lined bathroom faster than Yuu could realize what was happening. By the time Yuu's door opened, the swaying curtains in front of the glass doorway to the balcony were the only signs that Mikaela had ever been there in the first place.

"Sir Yuichiro, I thought I heard voices in your room... Is everything all right?"

It was Yuu's mistress, and Yuu realized his arms were still in the air from holding Mikaela's shoulders. He lowered them and cleared his throat. "Y-yeah, I'm fine."

On the other side of the wall in the bathroom, Mika's breathing increased. He was sure now that Yuu wouldn't purposely reveal his position, but he didn't know if the mistress would still check Yuu's room from his nervous tone.

"Are you sure?" she asked. Mika could hear her come into the room by the sound of fabric dragging across the floor – her dress – and move closer toward him in the bathroom. Yuu leapt up from his bed, standing between her and Mika.

"Yes, everything's fine!" he assured, arms spread on either side of him, doing his best to act naturally.

The mistress only found this more suspicious however, and passed Yuu, who was by this time screaming internally at Mika to run away as fast as he could. When the mistress looked in the bathroom however, glanced inside, she only "hmmed" and then turned back, facing Yuu again. "All right," she said. "I guess I'm just losing my mind."

She had left and Yuu went inside the bathroom at once, thoroughly confused and wondering if he was the one who was actually losing his mind, wondering if Mika had ever been there at all. At first he saw nothing, but when he looked up, Mika was keeping himself up by pressing his hands and feet against opposite sides of the bathroom, only a bit of his white robes hanging down enough to see, but only if you looked closely. When Mika jumped down and said, "I should go," a hand on his shoulder turned him around. Mika was faster, his instincts kicking in. He grabbed Yuu's arm and flipped him on the floor, had the blade hidden in his sleeve pointed at Yuu's throat, leaning with all his weight over him, but Yuu wasn't frightened in the slightest. His eyes shined with admiration.

"That was awesome!" he gasped, having the wind knocked out of him.

Mika, only then having realized what he'd done, quickly stood back, sliding the hidden blade back in his sleeve. "I –! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –!"

"It's all right," said Yuu, rubbing the back of his neck as he sat up. "Do the assassins get to do stuff like that all the time?"

The color sparked up on Mika's cheeks again from the curiosity that lit Yuu's eyes. There was no fear at all. But Mika saw the puncture, however small, on Yuu's neck from his hidden blade, he saw the blood that bubbled there. Mika murmured, "Yeah, but I wouldn't consider it 'awesome'... I mean, I could have killed you just now..."

"Well it is awesome!" Yuu exclaimed as he stood up, brushed himself off. Mika looked away, feeling horrible at what he'd almost just done. Yuu may not have been scared, but Mika knew... if Yuu had waited even a millisecond longer to speak, snap him out of it…

To Mika's stunned silence, Yuu asked, "So when do you think we'll be going to the outside together, Mika?"

Mika halted, reminded of what he'd been afraid of before the mistress had come in and interrupted. "Uhh, I don't know..."

Yuu's bouncy expression vanished, frowning. "It better not be in another two years like last time."

The vacant fear in Mika's chest was replaced by something else that was heavy, chained. Maybe this was what his superiors called "guilt"? "It won't be another two years, I promise."

"Do you swear?" Yuu asked, holding up a hand, which Mika only stared at questioningly. From the determination in Yuu's eyes, he gathered its meaning well enough. Tentatively, he took Yuu's bare hand with his, bound in leather.

"I swear."

Yuichiro watched Mika for another second, studying him, which caused Mika to gulp. The uncertainty in pale cerulean orbs told Yuu that Mika wasn't sure how it would go, but he would do everything in his power to fulfill his promise, which was all Yuichiro could ask for. Yuu grinned widely at him, tightly grasping Mika's hand. "Good!" Without letting go, he jerked Mikaela closer to him for a moment, which caught Mika off-guard right after Yuu had been poring intensely into his soul to search for lies. No one – not even the Master – had looked at him like that before. Mikaela soon regained his balance, but again his legs almost gave out underneath him as Yuu's lips connected with his.

It was only for a moment, and as Yuu pulled away he was smiling even bigger than before.

Mika couldn't understand what his emotions were doing now, so discombobulated and all over the place. What was this feeling?! Explosion-like waves raged all inside him, corrupting his thoughts and impeding his motor functions, usually so perfect and controlled, burning his nerves and yet filling him with energy. Usually so in tune with his emotions and desires, Mika was thoroughly lost. As Yuichiro pulled away, he let go of Mika's hand, apprehensive from the utter shock and confusion in Mika's face, his smile fading a little. "Mika...?"

Mika mentally shook himself, trying to conceal these new emotions – this explosion feeling was powerful, whatever it was. In fact, Mikaela could sense the danger in this one, but he didn't know what to think of it quite yet. It definitely wasn't entirely bad, whatever it was – something veering off from the warm, light feeling he'd experienced before. "Y-yeah?" Mikaela managed. His mouth hung open, trembling a little from the intimate attack that somehow hadn't made him flinch and shove Yuu away, unsure what to do after being touched like that. Mika barely even remembered what it'd felt like, he was so shocked.

Now Yuu was uneasy, seeing as Mika didn't know how to react. "Are you okay...?"

"Y-yeah," Mika repeated. Again, he shook himself mentally, willing himself not to take a few steps back from Yuichiro. "It's fine. I'm fine. I just... I've never felt something like that before," he admitted, still endeavoring to decide how he should react.

Yuu bowed his head a little, seeming to understand. "Oh... That makes sense... since you've only been trained only to kill people, right?"

Mika nodded, finally closing his mouth.

"Well, I'll see you later?" Yuu asked, hesitant to stick his hand out for another shake wondering if Mika would shy away. Eventually, Mikaela took it, less firm than before.

"Yeah..."

When Mika had climbed back over the sandstone wall at the edge of the Amane property and run far enough away to be out of the range of being seen, he stopped by a tree and stood against it, clutching the front of his cloak with one hand, running his fingers over his lips with the other. His heart still hadn't stopped pounding in his chest.

Yuichiro's kiss had taken Mika by surprise, but it hadn't felt bad... it was that explosion feeling after that had shaken him. Now that was something Mika knew he had to be able to understand – quickly, before it got him in trouble. He would ask Master Krul about it the moment he returned to the Creed, because he couldn't go on much longer this way. Unlike any of the other emotions he'd experienced, something about this one made it completely unbearable.

Under his leather fingers, Mika's lips were still a little damp... He didn't understand why his heart was throbbing in this way – the kiss itself hadn't lasted long (it was only a quick kiss!), or felt like much of anything... mostly because Mika had been too shocked to register what was happening. It was the feeling afterward that had his mind in such a whirlwind, and Mika couldn't comprehend why he wanted to act upon it.

Mikaela regathered his grace, hung from the wooden rafter with both hands, and abandoned the safe confines of the mural and high-up steeple rafters. He fell with a soft thud onto the intricate patterns inlaid in the floor, quite a lot of space between him, the audience, and those at the altar onstage. The sorrowful opera music and darkness of the hall masked him completely, carrying on as he peered around the corner to the altar's backdrop. Quickly, he flicked back the white hood that obscured his identity in case of discovery, unveiling his head of unkept blond hair, to ensure what he was seeing was real.

And now here he was, the same person Mikaela had longed for. It was far too late for him, who had been tainted by the blood of thousands fallen to his blade. And yet Yuu... was still as pristine as Mikaela remembered. He looked the same as the child Mika had found in the gardens that day – brown vest with gold thread sewn all around the line down the middle, red velvet underneath, his shaggy raven hair, dazzling teeth, curious emerald eyes. The same child who, with a few simple meetings, had turned his world upside down.

The music had changed from the mournful, looping and highs as before, into something sweet and soothing, nostalgic, full of yearning... Mikaela could feel it too. Yuichiro merely stared at the singers, mesmerized, his emerald eyes glistening even in the dark, especially the main violet-haired one, though who couldn't? Her voice was like that of the angelic Seraphim, her movements so graceful and melodic, swirling, black robes. Mikaela was here for her, for a mission, but he couldn't tear his eyes from Yuu.

How long had it been since they'd seen each other?

Mika counted the years, and found it was over a decade. He wanted to approach Yuu, – after the procession, perhaps, – but... would Yuu even remember him...?

Was it worth throwing away his mission and endangering the Creed – something he would surely be punished for – to speak with Yuichiro, who may not even remember who he is? Who, despite appearance, probably wasn't even the same person after all the time that had passed between them?

A part of him resounded _Yes!_ , but standing there beside the altar's stage of the operatic ritual and all the religious singing, the awe on the faces of the audience, including Yuu's, he thought of all the time that had passed... of all the murders he had carried out since then... of all the changes that had taken place, inside and outside the Creed, the shifts in power and the changes in régime, of the rivers of blood that now stained his leather-bound hands, and Yuu, untouched and untainted by life's cruelty... Was that really something Mika wanted to interfere in?

Yuu could have changed completely... Perhaps now, Yuu understood how different they were, and he would despise Mikaela for the work he involved himself in against his colleagues, friends of his family and nobles, against the social classes of Rome and all of Italy... what the assassins fought against.

It was unreasonable to think after so long Yuichiro would still be on Mikaela's side... Mika knew this. No more was he the arrogant, inexperienced boy he had been when him and Yuu first met in the gardens, but... most of that change was due to their meetings, not the murders he had committed. It was due to the time Mika had spent away from him, longing for him…

Should he approach Yuichiro, Mika would either condemn him to death for being involved with an assassin, or get pushed away so violently by the only person Mika had ever felt anything for…

Perhaps... seeing Yuu again was enough. Knowing he was still alive and well, that none of Mika's own madness had reached Yuu specifically, only his family's status…

The opera music was dying down and the audience – and singers – becoming more restless. Only the girl – Mika's target – held on to the last note of the song, soloing. Soon the lights would be turned back on and Mika would be noticed, attacked and cornered, unless he could hide. Mika stood back from the corner, stepping back into the shadows.

No, Mika couldn't drag Yuu, precious and pure, or perhaps not anymore, into the kind of world he lived in, a world full only of the question who deserved to live and who deserved to die.

Seeing Yuu was enough... it had to be.

* * *

 **~ Retrace III ~**

* * *

The white-hooded assassin lurked around the corner outside the dressing room, waiting for the other singers to leave so he could confront the girl with violet hair and magenta eyes. Mika had read her file. He knew she was youngest daughter in the notorious Hiiragi Family, Shinoa Hiiragi. He knew her tastes and her hobbies, he knew which road she would take to walk home, when she would be alone, when it was likely the head of her household would check up on her, whom was most important to her, whom she despised... He even knew what she all she had had to eat that week. These were all things Mikaela could use to manipulate her into divulging whatever information he needed, though there were definitely more assured methods – such as torture. The Creed did their best to steer away from such extremes. Oftentimes, it couldn't be helped.

His pale cerulean orbs surveyed as all the other singers exited the rooms in their normal clothing in its shadowy vision for marking enemies and disguised guards from civilians. They thanked and greeted each other, patrons of the church, on the way out. Mika watched them all with such intense focus, trying to forget who he was really thinking about: whose past self haunted him every hour of the day.

Lo and behold, speak of the devil and he shall appear. Except Yuu was no devil, at least not to Mikaela. Mika's shadowy vision disappeared as Yuu knocked on the door of the dressing room, stood near it with his hands folded before him. For a moment, Mikaela was afraid Yuichiro knew someone was watching him, the way he seemed to be checking his surroundings out of his peripheral vision, but soon enough Shinoa Hiiragi target popped her head out of the dressing room in a black knitted shawl and satin dress of pure, lacy white, and the two greeted each other, linked arms, and chatted on as they walked. Mika followed and with his keen ears, heard every part of their conversation. It was all listless – about opera singing which steered into politics and questions of who was currently in power, both nationally and internationally, – but Mikaela hung onto every word. It had been over 10 years since he had heard Yuichiro's voice, with that amicable roughness to it, firm, open and kind. And Mikaela found he hated the way the two talked to each other so politely, even if it was just an act, a courtesy. They walked out of the church and into the back roads behind it, and Mika climbed the abandoned buildings to tail them without being seen, memorizing Shinoa's every word only because he had to for the mission.

Eventually, they stopped at a corner and, as if he had known Mikaela was there the entire time, Yuichiro turned around, looked right at the spot where Mikaela had stood at the top of one of the buildings, watching them. Mika sensed his worry and jumped to a lower level before Yuu spotted him, but he was sure Yuichiro had caught a glimpse of a whoosh of his white cloak as he hid.

Even after all this time, Yuichiro was the only one who could sneak up on him and surprise him.

On the ground with the crescent moon and stars overcast by dark grey clouds, Shinoa put a hand on Yuichiro's arm. "What is it?"

Yuu mumbled, eyes widening, "I thought I saw..." Mika waited with bated breath, but Yuu soon dismissed it. "Never mind," he said, turning away. Movements forgotten, Mikaela worked on getting to the ground without being heard. "Are you sure you'll be okay walking home by yourself?" Yuu asked, concern lining his tone, taking Shinoa's white, satin gloved hands to match her dress in his own.

Shinoa's fingers gripped his as she looked up into his face, the traces of a smirk on her lips. "What's this, is little Yuu getting worried over his wife soon-to-be~?"

That made Mikaela halt on his way to the corner where he was unseen, his eyes widening.

"M-maybe..."

Shinoa giggled, violet hair falling across her shoulders. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. My family won't tolerate anyone attacking a member of the Hiiragis, and no one travels on these roads anymore. I've walked down them alone hundreds of times. I'll be fine."

Yuu started, "It's just that –"

"What?"

He hesitated to say it. "I have this feeling..."

"What feeling?" Shinoa asked.

Yuu paused. Mikaela swore he saw Yuichiro glance at the spot on the building top he'd been standing moments before. "It was probably nothing," he said finally, her fingers slipping through his hands.

Shinoa smiled, letting her arms fall back to her sides. "Right. I'll see you later, Yuu."

They waved, parted ways, but Shinoa stayed in place, watching Yuichiro disappear down the street, her satin dress forming a lattice around her feet. She bowed her head, and involuntarily, Mikaela stepped forward, pulled down his hood, revealing himself. Shinoa stumbled back, not really knowing what was going on. Some darkness inside Mikaela had shifted. He'd known about the Amane Family's changing views on the struggle within Rome, but it had never occurred to him that to seal the bond between the Hiiragis and Amanes there would be a fixed marriage, and between Shinoa and Yuichiro no less…

Something clicked in Shinoa's mind and she seemed to understand who Mika was and what he doing there, dressed in white, weapons at his sides... She had seen enough of the outside world to know that he was an assassin, and that he was here for her. Despite having just crept out of the shadows however, Mika had rapidly gone from being shady and dangerous to being mysterious and delightful in her eyes. A few charmed words and the right setting usually did that. "Who might you be?" She looked him up and down, a delicate hand stretched toward him.

"I think you know who I am," he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

Shinoa smiled faintly, then her shoulders bobbed from the giggles that arose in her throat. She stepped closer to him, an arm around his. "Would you like to grab a drink maybe?"

"Afterward," said Mikaela.

As Shinoa pulled him down the road, farther from where Yuu had left them, more and more Mika felt the heaviness of "guilt."

* * *

 **~ Retrace IV ~**

* * *

The only explanation for all the explosion feelings, the warm feelings, light feelings, and just about everything in between... it had to be the very reason the Creed forbid the assassins from forming ties with others – they could be manipulated by someone twisting someone they cared about, a family member, a friend, or... a lover. That was what Master Krul had said when Mikaela tried to use the roundabout way of asking why they weren't allowed to fraternize with citizens – anyone outside of the Creed. She'd spoken of unbelievable stupidity in actions from assassins who relied on anyone else, who worked only to protect whom they loved, and not their brethren in the Creed. When he'd asked what kind of emotions would be connected to these types of attachments, the answer he'd gotten was that Krul wasn't sure, but she knew the other assassins who had experienced such feelings before described it as being unbearable and irresistible, though with their training they thought they could control it and were terribly mistaken.

Mika had only met twice, and yet he was so sure of himself that that was the same type of feeling. His brethren at the Creed – Mika saw them only as nuisances, as forced alliances. But Yuu... Yuu was someone Mikaela had chosen himself. Someone Yuu had chosen back. Someone who wasn't afraid of what Mikaela was, someone Mika could count on without fretting for his life. He hoped that Yuu would be able to do the same.

They were 15 now, getting close to 16. About a year had passed since their last meeting. Once again, the Creed members left him out of one of their most important missions against the Hiiragi Family due to stubbornness and fear he could endanger them all with his high-running emotions, so Mikaela dashed over to the Amane residence to fulfill his promise to take Yuu to the outside instead.

Being the middle of the day, he dodged past the scarce guards in the gardens without fail and waited above the awning into the lavish parlor where Yuu sat writing with quill and ink. Once the overseeing mistress had left to attend to one of her other duties, Mika dropped in and took Yuu by the arm.

"Yuu, let's go!"

"Wha –? Mika?!" Yuu glanced back at the paper he'd been writing on, at the ink now spilled all over it. "Right now?!"

"Yes, right now!" said Mika, pull Yuu along. Suddenly Yuu wouldn't budge. Mika looked back at him, confused. "Yuu? What's wrong? Don't you still want to go?"

Yuu nodded. "I do, but..."

"But what?"

"I..." Yuu lifted his face, and Mika saw the embarrassment there. "I'm scared."

Mika walked back to him, taking his shoulders in his hands, so Yuu was looking right at him. "Don't worry. I'll protect you. No matter what, I'll protect you. But in return, you have to do everything I tell you in case there's danger. Do you understand, Yuu?"

Yuu nodded. Then his features lit brightly, cheeks turning pink. "We're really going to the outside?!"

"Of course!" said Mika, a hand to his chest. "I'm a man of my word!"

Peering around the side of the opening to the patio, Yuu muttered, "But getting past the guards –"

Without warning, Mika scooped him up, legs first, causing Yuu to gasp in surprise. Mika held him in his arms. "Ready?"

Yuu gulped, his cheeks becoming darker red at his surprise, but he nodded.

Mikaela smiled, then dashed through the gardens with Yuu in his arms. When he came to the wall, he hoisted Yuu to the top and then helped him get over the side, then scooped him up again. Yuichiro in his arms, Mika could tell he was embarrassed, but didn't say anything, which only made him swell. Mika couldn't understand what Master Krul and the others were saying about emotions – especially love – being so bad. This was the freest and best Mika had felt in his entire life.

"Mika! Look at all that armor! I didn't know they had armor everywhere!"

Mika chuckled, "Yeah this is where I get most of my weapons. Their upgrades are awesome, but sometimes knowing which is the best is hard since it isn't always about the prices..." Mika picked up a knife from the table, feeling it in his palms for a second, then set it back on the table. Those emerald eyes were on him the entire time. "Haven't you ever seen a blacksmith shop before?"

Yuu crossed his arms. "Yeah, but I was never allowed to go in one..."

"I see. Where do you wanna go next?"

"Hm, well... I was wondering, where do you go to hang out most of the time?"

"Huh? You mean at the Creed?" Mika paused. "I can't show you where that is if that's what you're asking."

"I meant where do you usually go when you're not training or on a mission or coming to see me," Yuu clarified. "I'm sure you get out for things other than missions, right?"

It was true, Mikaela had a couple places he would go when he wasn't training, but ever since he'd stumbled into the Amane gardens and met a boy with Raven hair and emerald eyes... not at all. With tensions growing from the assassinations carried out against the Hiiragis in Rome, all the time Mika had had to himself, he'd used it for stocking up for missions or for seeing Yuu... "There is one place. I'll show you."

Yuu clutched Mikaela's shoulders as he climbed higher and higher, legs wrapped around him. The main city districts of Rome were in the distance, mostly fields, travelers, and the occasional Hiiragi outpost all around them. Mika was on one of the final floors of the famous Colosseum, not nearly as glorious as it had been in its day when the Romans ruled the city, in ruin, but still standing as the tallest structure in Rome.

When Mika came to the top level and settled down, setting Yuichiro beside him, Yuu stood up, looking across the vastness of the land all around them. "Whoaa! You can see everything from here!"

"Be careful!" Mika hissed, panting and huffing from the long climb to the top, carrying more than twice his own body weight – he usually went it alone, so it wasn't nearly as hard.

"I am being careful!"

"...Not everything," Mika said after a while.

Eyebrows furrowed, Yuu turned to him. "Huh?"

"You can't see everything. If you want to see everything, you would have to climb to the top of a mountain and glide off of it with one of that Italian artist's contraptions – if those even work."

Yuu smiled at him. "Yeah... Still," said Yuu, facing the scene. "It's beautiful..."

The sun was setting, shards of pink, orange, and golden light on the white clouds. After their long day, Yuu sighed contentedly, then sat down beside Mika, who had taken to his usual position, perched with both arms and legs in front of him like an assassin. Legs hanging off the side and the wind all around them. Yuu rested his head in his arms. He'd seen so many places and people, felt sensations and feelings he never had before. Knowing he could be free with Mikaela watching his back, he could let it all flow... "Today was great," he sighed. He turned his head toward Mika, who was yet again shocked by the tenderness in those eyes. "Thanks, Mika."

"H-huh?" Mika's cheeks lit immediately. This feeling…

Mika was watching Yuu with a similar expression as last time, after Yuu had kissed him. Except this time there was a question in his eyes, – a certain yearning Yuu hadn't seen there before, – not only his confusion. Yuu straightened his back and opened his mouth to ask what it was, when Mikaela leapt on him, sealing their lips in a French kiss. For once, it was Mika who took Yuu by surprise.

Yuu moaned into Mikaela's lips, his question answered. Yuu leaned forward to wrap his arms around Mika's shoulders, take his blond hair in his hands, their lips fumbling over each other, tongues pressing deeper into their mouths, more and more needy. Mika's fingers caressed the nape of Yuichiro's neck, pushing them closer together until they had to split apart, a string of saliva connecting them, panting at the length and fervency of the kiss.

Only inches apart, Yuu started to say, "Mika –" but was cut off again, this time Mika's tongue pushing deeply into Yuu's mouth so that again he moaned, Mika gaining the upper hand. Mikaela loved the sound. He moved back only enough to take Yuu's lip between his teeth and pull back, nibbling slowly, watching Yuu's reaction and drinking up the series of breathy grunts and moans it earned him. He was going to force himself farther on Yuu until Yuu said his name once, sternly, using Mikaela's momentary shock and euphoria to push him to the ground instead. Mika blinked up at him. "What is it, Y –?"

Mikaela gasped a little this time as Yuu's teeth bit into his skin, rough, but not without his own tenderness. Mika's instincts told him this was entirely dangerous, giving someone full access to his neck, but soon that part of him was only a small ping in his mind. Yuu's tongue trailed all across Mika's collarbones and jugular before biting slowly. Soon they were both groaning from the mounting friction between their bodies, and Mika held Yuu's head and waist there, tears coalescing in his eyes. He whispered in Yuu's ear, "Yuu, run away with me."

Yuu's mouth left Mika's skin as he leaned back, confused. "What?"

Mikaela felt suddenly cold, and had to stop himself from whining at having lost Yuu's touch. "R-run away with me?" he repeated, peeking up at Yuichiro through his lashes.

They stayed that way, staring at each other with Yuu blinking down at Mika, for a while. Then Yuu shook his head, got off of Mika, leaned back. Mikaela didn't understand what he'd done wrong. "I can't," said Yuu. His face and voice were even and empty.

Mika sat up, suddenly cold from the wind around them. "Why... why not?"

Yuu just shook his head, avoiding his face.

"Yuu? What is it?" Mikaela asked.

"We just can't."

Mikaela didn't understand. "Why?"

"Because... we... this... one of us will get hurt..."

"No we won't, I'll protect you –"

"But how can you be so sure?" There were tears in Yuu's eyes now too.

"Yuu, what are you so afraid of?"

Yuu mumbled, "You don't know them... like I do. We can't defy the Hiiragi Family."

"So then what? Do you not love me?"

Yuichiro was struggling even more, staring at his lap. When he looked up, on his lips was a faint smile of defeat. "Maybe we shouldn't meet anymore."

"Don't give me that, it was you who suggested we become friends in the first place!" Mikaela seethed, though his voice was desperate, pleading.

"Yeah, but something like that... running away is... just... too dangerous!" Yuu cried, standing up.

"Yuu please, let's talk about this –"

"No, you have to bring me back to the mansion."

"Y-Yuu –?"

"Right now, Mika, or else… when we get back to my house… I'll report you to the authorities."

Mikaela was taken aback, the breath sucked right out of him. The weightlessness was gone. Now there was something much darker, more twisted, hateful, that devoured his gut. He understood now why Master Krul and the Assassin's Creed advised against forming bonds like love. This was a feeling that made him irrational and murderous, sorrowful and hopeless, even toward innocents like Yuu.

Betrayed, Mikaela stepped back from Yuu, shattered in such a small time. He would never put his faith in an emotion like "love" ever again.

* * *

 **~ Retrace V ~**

* * *

Her skin was pale and fragile as he helped her slip off the satin dress, which pooled on the floor beside the bed, violet hair falling in ripples around her chest, shoulders, and abdomen. She reached up to connect her lips with his and he made his best effort to seem into it, but with that memory raging through his mind, it was nearly impossible. Better to get this over with.

He slammed her onto the bed to which at first she was surprised, then the desire overcame any of the fear in her eyes. He climbed over her, got ready, but suddenly he pictured that the one below him was instead Yuichiro, not some whore he was hired to question after a simple fucking, who was _supposed to marry Yuu._ Her eyes pleaded him to continue, innocent cries like her singing voice that had reminded Mikaela of the past.

He couldn't take it anymore.

His leather-bound gloves rested on the bedside table, and he took out the hidden blade in the left one, held it to her satin skin for a moment before he slit her throat, panting and sweating and watching hungrily as she recoiled, scooted away from him on the bed, magenta eyes wild as the blood bubbled slowly out of the thin line he'd created on her neck and she gurgled blood from her mouth, insanity contorting her face.

She could say nothing, but Mikaela saw it in her eyes, the desperate question of _Why? Why would you do this to me? I was your target for questioning, not killing. Why did you kill me?!_

" _You took him from me,_ " Mika bellowed, practically calling forth the wrath of the devil himself in his voice. " _I will never forgive you._ "

Shinoa shook her head, trying to say something. A chill ran up Mika's spine, as he caught onto what she was trying to say: _"He loved you more."_

Then her eyes rolled up in the back of her skull, and her hands fell, her body slumping into the pool of crimson on the bedsheets.

And it was then, naked, covered in blood, sweat and, yes, even _tears_ , that Mikaela understood.

Yuichiro hadn't left him for Shinoa.

Yuu had left Mika hoping _he_ would escape, without Yuu, who would only weigh him down, get him caught or killed by the authorities that hated him so much.

Yuu had been hoping Mikaela would leave before it was too late.

* * *

 **I decided just to put this fic back the way it was before. When I tried to rewrite it... it simply wasn't happening, and it's been obstructing me from writing anything else the past three months!**

 **Assassin's Creed II has gotta be one of my favorite video games. I loved pretty much everything about it. But what really captivated me were all the Codex Page journal entries from different assassins who said how hard it was doing what they did, being separated from the rest of society and called only murderers, and then with Subject 16's little glyph messages... So of course I had to write it as a fic.**

 **Thank you for reading, and don't forget to give me your opinion in the comment section below~**


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